Norman, coordinate!

There’s a comment thread over at Gerry’s blog that includes a reader named Kate who is experiencing classic Star Trek episodes for the first time (presumably inspired by the recent reboot). She’s making her way through the “good” episodes of the series and it’s got me thinking about how much those hours of TV have impacted my everyday life. There are a variety of phrases that I use on a regular basis that come from Trek (“Norman, coordinate,” “No kill I,” heavy drunken Scottish accent: “We did it, you and me,” etc.). In general, I think there’s a relevant Star Trek reference for just about every situation I find myself in, in life. People talking in the theater? It’s like that time in STIV where Spock has to Vulcan pinch the annoying guy with the boom box. Trouble with the gear shifter? It’s like Kirk trying to drive a car in A Piece of the Action. Headaches shepherding United Federation of Planets ambassadors to the Babel Conference? That’s just like the time… oh, wait.

Here is the list of original Trek episodes that Kate has either seen or is about to see. Can you suggest others that are worth her time? Note: the point is to avoid campiness, so don’t suggest the really bad ones like The Turnabout Intruder and Spock’s Brain, despite their appeal as cheesy pop cultural artifacts.

-where no man has gone before
-the naked time
-the enemy within
-the corbomite maneuver
-balance of terror
-the galileo seven
-court martial
-the return of the archons
-space seed
-the devil in the dark
-the city on the edge of forever
-amok time
-journey to babel
-the trouble with tribbles
-the menagerie part I
-the menagerie part II
-shore leave
-errand of mercy
-a piece of the action
-assignment: earth
-the motion picture
-the wrath of khan
-the search for spock
-the voyage home
-the final frontier
-the reboot

next up on my list:
-doomsday machine
-i, mudd
-the ultimate computer
-undiscovered country

I have already insisted she see Mirror, Mirror (my personal favorite episode) and sypathized with her having to endure Star Trek V The Final Frontier. Any other thoughts, Trek nerds?

23 Comments

Subscribe to the Comments

On June 12, 2009, Spine said:

The one where Kirk fights with Spock and says, “I’m stimulating him!”
On June 12, 2009, billsimmon said:

Heehee. I thought about including the phrase “I’m stimulating him” in the list of phrases in my lexicon that I get from Star Trek, but I didn’t want to start any rumors.

For the record, that episode is called “By Any Other Name” and Kirk isn’t fighting Spock, he’s fighting a shape-shifting alien from the Andromeda galaxy — an alien who has been in human form for so long that he’s become susceptible to human emotions (I know, lame) and so the crew sets out to “stimulate” emotional responses from the invading aliens.

This episode is also where the line “We did it, you and me” comes from (mentioned in my post). Scotty, attempting to “stimulate” another Andromedan, drinks the poor bastard under the table and then cradles his whiskey bottle and kisses it while uttering the sentence. Priceless stuff.
On June 12, 2009, odum said:

Absolutely. Lose the overrated snoozer “The Corbomite Manuever” which makes up for its 10 minutes worth of story with lots of overwrought overacting, leading up to a good message, I’ll grant, but nether it, nor the campy coolness of mini-Howard the alien guy with the big dubbed in laugh, make it worth the slog.

And add in the most underappreciated Trek of all: A Taste of Armageddon. A good story. AN uncharacteristically tight script. Plenty of thinking, action, and a FANTASTICALLY still-relevant (especially now) message… moreso now than in the Vietnam era, even.

It also is a great character episode. Kirk, Spock and Scotty all get to shine as leader types, and as a Kirk episode it is unsurpassed. It really sums up the character’s personality, quick thinking-ness, moral focus, and downright reckless risk-taking that comes from his almost pathological self-confidence. As an episode, it also gives us the real essence of the Star Trek philosophy in that final speech – one that had a major impact on my own moral development as a kid (and one that Roddenberry seemed to walk away from a bit with his “conflict free” approach in ST’s later incarnations)

I remember the first time I got really mad at Picard was the episode where Charles Emerson Winchester (whatever his name is) asked for asylum aboard the Enterprise because he was of an age where his people are legally compelled to commit suicide. He finally gave into the cultural pressure and sadly just shuffled off to his fate.

And goddamn Picard just let him go! Holy CRAP!

I thought – maaaaaaan, Kirk would’ve grabbed a phaser and taken over the planet single handedly and forced them to shape up, just like in A Taste of Armageddon!!! And made it fit into the Prime Directive ins ome retroactive way… or just decided that it didn’t apply somehow… whatEVER.
On June 12, 2009, Rob said:

You left out some good ones.

Let That be Your Last Battlefield, fun with Frank Gorshin.
The Alternative Factor, and what of Lazarus?
Wink of an Eye, Bzzz…
The Immunity Syndrome, giant single cell organism.
Operation Annihilate, flying jellyfish.
The Tholian Web,Ok, so I was a kid and liked it.
And I agree with Odum and A Taste of Armageddon
On June 12, 2009, billsimmon said:

Odum, agreed on all counts.

Rob, The only one on your list that actually holds up at all, IMHO, is The Tholian Web, and even that is pretty goofy with floating ghost Kirk. The Alternative Factor is one of my all time least favorite episodes — it’s neither good SF nor so-bad-it’s-good — it’s boring. And Let This Be You Last Battlefield is so over-the-top preachy it’s hard to swallow. Metaphor FAIL. Immunity Syndrome has its moments.
On June 12, 2009, andrew dalio said:

I suggest *ALL* of them. Except Spock’s Brain. That sucked dead donkey balls. A lot.
On June 12, 2009, G C said:

Hard for me not to say “all of them.” At least once.
On June 12, 2009, odum said:

Clarification: Did it suck a lot of dead donkey balls, or did it suck the same couple dead donkey balls a lot?

Brain and brain, what is brain?
On June 12, 2009, odum said:

Whoa! Holy crap again. Where is Arena on this list?
On June 12, 2009, billsimmon said:

I actually haven’t even consulted an episode guide yet in this discussion. I imagine if I did look at all 79 eps I’d find a couple more to suggest.

Arena may be too goofy with Gorn’s rubber suit. Galaxy Quest excoriated it pretty well too.
On June 12, 2009, Rob said:

Bill, you didn’t say anything about Wink of an Eye or Operation Annihilate. Also, you say Mirror, Mirror is your favorite. Do you see it as good SF or so-bad-it’s-good. C’mon, all Trek has it’s cheese. I think I’ll just go get my agonizer now. On it’s first viewing, The Alternative Factor made me think.
On June 12, 2009, Rob said:

Oh yeah, And the Children Shall Lead was worse than Spock’s Brain.
On June 12, 2009, Greg Giordano said:

I really love the restored “The Cage” and “Where No Man Has Gone Before”. I love these because we can get into the creative process of Roddenberry, etc., as they were perfecting their final version of Trek. These are the rough sketches if you will. Also I really like how the first to pilots illustrate the bridging of the creative sensibilities from older 40′s-50′s schlock sci-fi tv/film to the more sophisticated, sexy and thoughtful sci-fi tv/film to come. In a way, the pilots were a kind of “golden age trek” if one were to use comic book terminology. Plus I fucking love those old rotating-head phasers! Nerd-glands would quiver in my neck and groin if I could have a Playmates replica of that one!! Ngghhh-M-Ngkh!!
On June 12, 2009, billsimmon said:

And the Children Shall Lead was worse than Spock’s Brain.

Dude, that’s like saying anthrax is better than ebola. I suppose it’s technically true, but I still wouldn’t want to have to experience either one.
On June 12, 2009, odum said:

I liked “And the Children Shall Lead.” Still do. Ham-handed, sure – but even most of the best ST’s were guilty of that.

You’re gonna think I’m even more crazy when I say I think there was a lot of unmined follow-up/sequel potential in that one.

I notice nobody’s even mentioned… (dramatic pause)…. The Way to Eden!!

Woo-hoo! Space hippies! And not just any space hippies, decidedly Hanna-barbera style space hippies!

Jam on, Spock…
On June 12, 2009, billsimmon said:

Steppin’ into Eden, yea, brother!
On June 12, 2009, Rob said:

Bill wrote,I suppose it’s technically true, but I still wouldn’t want to have to experience either one.

I could watch Spock’s Brain right now for the silly ridiculousness of it. “Right fore finger.” “Check.” And the Children Shall Lead just makes me puke. “Round and round…”

One… Herbert!
On June 12, 2009, andrew dalio said:

After careful consideration, Spock’s Brain indeed sucks the *same* dead donkey balls over and over. Rather like torturers find the one sore spot, and attack it over and over…
On June 12, 2009, odum said:

You gotta appreciate how the chant kind of goes to the same rhythm as eenie meenie minie moe. Even rhymes at the beginning.

…Far away, for to see
Friendly angel come to me
My mother told me to pick the very last one….
On June 13, 2009, billsimmon said:

BTW, the guy who played “Gorgan” in And the Children Shall Lead had an interesting off-screen life. Memory Alpha:

Melvin Belli (29 July 1907 – 9 July 1996; age 88) is most famous as a criminal defense and personal injury lawyer, not an actor. Among his many legal accomplishments are the defense of Jack Ruby, the man who murdered Lee Harvey Oswald, and numerous refinements to personal injury litigation, including “day in the life” films designed to graphically demonstrate the impact of injuries on their victims.
In 1954, his accomplishments led Life magazine to dub him the “King of Torts.” Walter Koenig objected to his playing the role of “Gorgan” in TOS: “And the Children Shall Lead”, believing the role should have gone to someone in the acting business.
(citation needed • edit)
He was the father of Caesar Belli, who played Steve O’Connel in the same episode.

He had a peripheral role in the investigation of the “Zodiac” killings which took place in the San Francisco area between 1969 and 1973, and was portrayed by Brian Cox in David Fincher’s 2007 film Zodiac, which dramatized those events.
On June 13, 2009, odum said:

Oh, yeah – Belli was arguably the most famous trial attorney of the era.
On June 15, 2009, kate said:

this is seriously the best. i’ve been out of town and am currently stuck in a rural airport for 7 hours, wishing i could get a start on these recommended episodes. i’ll definitely do so when i get home. thanks very much to mr. bill simmon and his commenters! and yes, I was converted by the reboot, which I saw on opening day because the trailer looked badass, and I’d never seen a single episode or movie of any variety of star trek before. I am also 17. hell yeah.
On April 2, 2011, GregJL said:

The “good” episodes? Err, which ones weren’t?