Authored by: JIMO on Thursday, December 29 2005 @ 07:57 PM

That link about Tolkien and elven sex makes elves seem conservative, family-values oriented, and totally celibate outside of marriage. In other words, elves were Republicans.

Yikes and yuck.

I got a different theory. See, according to Tolkien, elves were immune to sickness, and that means they were therefore also immune to, yup, you guessed it, STDs. Doubtless, they were total sluts. I mean, what's the point of abstinence if you're a hot elf who can't get herpes? At the very least, elven fellatio was as common as a fat hobbit.

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There's always gotta be a reason for something.

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