I responded to a letter in this week's Seven Days just now. Since it probably won't get printed, I'm publishing it here instantly (it's good to have a blog). Below the fold you will find the letter as printed in the issue of Seven Days that came out yesterday, followed by my response. Enjoy...

INANE 'ELF'
I'll try to make this short and sweet, for I'm almost positive that you've probably received many a letter such as this over the years: "American Elf" by James Kochalka must go! Each week I anticipate yet another entertaining, provocative and informative issue of Seven Days, only to once again find more tripe, boring, infantile, lackadaisical, moronic and timelessly uninspired thoughts by ... Mr. Kochalka.

That's it. That's what really irritates me. I simply do not understand how such meaningless shapes and words manage to make it onto your pages week after week. I mean, seriously: What the hell does swimming with a hat on do for any level of humor or wit or insight? What's next for James? Setting such a high bar of excellence and wit must surely exhaust his already overstimulated brain. Perhaps I can help him out by tossing a few suggestions for strips. How about trying "Today I woke up." If that one doesn't have you rolling, why not try knocking them dead with "Yesterday, I tried cutting my steak with a spoon." Still not getting the laughs? How about using "The sun is bright," or "My name is James."

Well, I guess that was neither short nor sweet. But, guess what, the sketchbook diaries of James Kochalka are neither witty nor insightful. My suggestion to the editors of Seven Days is to remove the sketches of Mr. Kochalka and print something with, oh, I don't know, character? Until that day comes, invalids everywhere, rejoice!

Robert F. Larkin
PERU, N.Y.

My response follows...

To the editors,

I'm writing in response to Robert Larkin's letter in the Aug. 18th issue about James Kochalka's Sketch Book Diaries.

Mr. Larkin thinks the comics are "tripe (sic), boring, infantile, lackadaisical, moronic and timelessly uninspired." In his letter, he also asks Seven Days to remove American Elf from the paper.

It may interest Mr. Larkin to know that not everyone agrees with him. I'll leave my own opinion on the matter private and simply point out that James Kochalka has won two prestigious Ignatz Awards and has been nominated for a Harvey Award and for the coveted Eisner Award twice. His work has been featured on Nickelodeon and the SciFi Channel and he is published all over the world. A trip into any comics shop in any metropolitan area in North America will reveal a section devoted to Kochalka's work.

But it's clear that the absurd mundane simplicity of James Kochalka's sketchbook diaries doesn't interest Mr. Larkin. That's fine. No one is forcing him to read American Elf. I hope that the editors at Seven Days realize that Mr. Larkin's opinions are not as universal as he makes them sound.

Mr. Larkin also seems to be under the mistaken impression that comics are supposed to be funny. Just because James Kochalka's diaries are drawings that appear inside little boxes in the newspaper doesn't mean they have to be Dilbert. There's a whole world of comics styles and genres out there. Take a look Mr. Larkin, you might find something that suits you.

Bill Simmon
Burlington

My first draft of the letter included this last sentence:
"There's always Dennis the Menace."
I thought I had crossed some sort of snark line so I took it out.