In my family -- the Simmon family -- this quaint tradition has turned into something ugly. My father, and his father before him, boasted of grand practical jokes played on their families: kidnapped brides, destroyed or stolen lingerie, automobile theft or extreme makeover. I have participated in this tradition lightly. I did give my Cousin Jessica's limo driver $20 to tell them that I had tried to get him to take them to the Gary, IN Holiday Inn instead of the Chicago Four Seasons -- their intended destination. I also abetted my brother's plot to put fauna in my cousin Grant's luggage. I talked him down from scorpions to snakes, and then from big ferocious snakes to one single little garter snake, but I helped him none the less.
So when I informed my family that I was getting married, I knew I'd better watch out. The taunting began almost at once. Spiders (a personal fear of ours) were threatened. As the wedding approached, my brother Rob, who has taken on the mantle of the Simmon shivaree tradition more fully than the rest of the family, began pouring on thick layers of hyperbole: "It's going to be LEGENDARY," he would claim, "It's an INTERNATIONAL operation!"
Unfortunately, Rob's intended prank was WAY over his head. Yeah, I saw it coming. But I decided to take it one step further, just to teach him a lesson in "legendary."
Watch this video (QT7 required, 8MB - give it a minute to DL -- YouTube link is here). Then read on, below the fold...
Rob secreted a wireless video camera in our bedroom, hoping to get some wedding night action, and probably try and find a way to post it on Candleblog. Suspecting this to be the case, I decided to plant my own camera so I could catch him red-handed. I work in video and it was in my own house, so it was really easy to do.
It would have been easy to thwart his attempts to get into the house and plant the camera. The house was locked. Only Em and I have keys and no way would we let them out of our sights... unless we had a good reason. Once we knew what big brother was up to, we planted our camera and found a convenient and believable excuse to grant him access to the place. I even made a big show to my cousin Grant about not wanting Rob in my house or he'll do rotten things. (Grant also replaced some of our light bulbs with red lights, which was funny and a prank we enjoyed a lot)
Rob's plan was bad because: